It is often hard for me to express what I feel into words so
that others can somewhat understand what or how I am feeling. It’s not an easy task. This post is not so you have pity on Michelle
and I but to be able to express feelings and hopefully to help someone else out
in their similar time of need.
I am married to the most wonderful person. She is kind, gentle, full of humility,
spiritual, a great cook hence why I have gained weight since I have been
married, and full of love. I never
thought I would end up having an amazing person as she is. She is my light, my strength, my inspiration,
and really my everything. Life cannot
possibly be better without her in it, right by my side. I married my best friend who is in my eyes a
woman who will help me become a person I will be in the future. Without her I am nothing. I look forward to progressing in life with my
best friend by my side.
Many before us, after us, and continually on a daily basis
go through different trials and tribulations that seem too difficult to
bear. All trials are difficult on
different levels but as each of us go through trials we ask for the Lord’s help
in guiding us and sustaining us as we go through difficult things in life. Sometimes it seems that we are given multiple
challenges at once and it feels as though everything is coming at once from
different angles. I know that these
difficult things we go through, as I have been told, help us grow and become
better. However it doesn’t make it
easier to go through. Sometimes it feels
like we are holding on for dear life to your wife, loved ones, the kind words
of others, the Savior and our Heavenly Father.
My wife and I have been experiencing some difficult times in our lives
which has challenged us. Not being able
to conceive a child has been one of those challenges to name a few. Some say, “Oh just enjoy the time that you
have together or enjoy what you have now because it will all change.” I know people are trying to be nice but it
doesn’t make it any easier. We do enjoy
every bit of time that we get together. My
mom’s parents couldn’t have children for four years. After four years they were able to have one
after the other. They ended up having
eight children when it was all said and done.
Michelle and I are holding to our faith hoping that what has been received
through priesthood blessings will come to pass.
The Lord’s timing and our timing is on a very different time scale. But I have to say I am grateful for listening
to the spirit and waited to meet Michelle because we have such a great time
together. Michelle would say her wait
was more difficult but both our waiting was difficult in different ways though
the waiting periods were different amounts, it’s still difficult. Looking back at this experience it helps my
faith knowing that Heavenly Father was aware of our situation then and is now
with our current situations. He has not
forgotten us and will bless us with children when the time is right. When that time is? Who knows except Heavenly Father and our
Savior and older brother Jesus Christ. I
know He has promised blessings waiting for us but we just don’t know when that
will occur. Though I have these feelings
that come to my heart and mind it doesn’t make going through this trial easier. I have no doubt there are others who have
gone through similar circumstances and because of this they have empathy
towards those who are going through what they went through. It helps to know that there are others out
there who can help us get through what we are going through. Maybe one day we will be able to have empathy
towards those who will go through the same things as we are and possibly be an earthly
angel to those.
I am thankful to know that I have a Savior and Heavenly
Father who love us and care about each of us individually. Sometimes something is put in our path that
helps aid a situation which has occurred a few times. I am thankful to those of Heavenly Fathers
children who listen to the spirit and follow those promptings. I am not saying that I am perfect at this
just thankful to those who do this. I am
glad that I know that my Savior paid ultimate price for me so that I can return
and live with him again. I am so
grateful to know that I am sealed to my eternal companion and friend who I love
and admire with all my heart and who I look up to. I am grateful to know that we will be
together forever as long as we continue to live good lives. Because of the mission I served for The
Church of Jesus Christ Of Latter Day Saints I know that our Savior cares about
each of our individual needs. Whether
they are big or small He cares. Why
would He send out missionaries to go and find those lost sheep? He cares about each and every one of his
children and wants them to return home.
“On this upward and sometimes hazardous
journey, each of us meets our share of daily challenges. If we are not careful,
as we peer through the narrow lens of self-interest, we may feel that life is
bringing us more than our fair share of trials--that somehow others seem to be
getting off more lightly.
But the tests of life are tailored for our own best interests, and all will face the burdens best suited to their own mortal experience. In the end we will realize that God is merciful as well as just and that all the rules are fair. We can be reassured that our challenges will be the ones we needed, and conquering them will bring blessings we could have received in no other way.”
But the tests of life are tailored for our own best interests, and all will face the burdens best suited to their own mortal experience. In the end we will realize that God is merciful as well as just and that all the rules are fair. We can be reassured that our challenges will be the ones we needed, and conquering them will bring blessings we could have received in no other way.”
-Elder Jeffery R. Holland
"Everyone of us needs refueling,
regeneration, encouragement, hope."
-Elder Jeffery Holland
