Be Still

We went to our ultrasound/follicle scan appointment on Friday, September 5.  We felt confident that we would have at least one follicle (mature egg) that would be ready for our IUI.  We were expecting to do the procedure over the weekend.  Not the case.  During our ultrasound we found out that we didn't have "any follicles."  That was my understanding anyway.  Dallin's understanding was that they were just too small.

So Utah Fertility Center (UFC) graciously donated to us the meds that I would be taking giving myself via a needle.  I had already given myself one shot last round, this time I got really good at it! Saturday and Sunday I was to give myself a shot.  Here is the proof that I did it! (Don't worry, that long needle is just to draw the meds...the needle that actually went in me was smaller...a needle none-the-less.)

While I am grateful for the medicine that I am able to take to allow this to work, I look WAY too happy to be giving myself a shot!  The last picture is after all is said and done...thank heavens.

So, we went back to UFC on Monday, September 8.  This time the Ultrasonographer found one follicle, 17 mm.  (They want them to be between 18 and 22 mm)  I knew it wasn't big enough.  My heart sunk and I didn't know what she would tell me to do.  She quickly told me that we would wait one more day to do the trigger shot and then we would do the IUI on Wednesday.  That is what we did.  Tuesday-trigger shot.  Wednesday-IUI.

Wednesday we go in for the procedure.  While we were waiting for the semen to be prepped we watched Once Upon a Time.  Great way to keep my mind off of life!  Finally my name was called back.  While we were waiting for the nurse to come in I looked at Dallin and said, "you might want to say a little prayer."  Without any hesitation or question he immediately bowed his head and said a silent prayer.  I am constantly in awe of this man's faith and example and I am so grateful that he is mine for eternity!

Well, the count was in, 9.4 million sperm.  They say that is ok.  Do you know how many millions of sperm men have?  A whole heck of a lot...and that number is not very high.  Just sayin'.  But as my sis says, it only takes one!  I'll go with it.  During the procedure I felt very crampy but not nearly like last time. Grateful!

As the nurse finished up I told her that hopefully she is our good luck charm!  She looked at me and said, "I hope so, it is always so nice to be a small part of a big miracle."  She left the room and I broke down into tears.  Here I am, laying on the table, trying to make my dreams come true and I start bawling.  Poor Dallin, he is such a good sport!  I closed my eyes and said a little prayer that this would work.  Immediately the thought came very strongly and very clearly:  

I cannot deny that the Lord's hand has been in every part of this journey.  While I want this righteous desire to come to pass I must remember to Be Still.  I KNOW that the Lord is aware of our pains and that He is shedding tears right along with us.  I KNOW that I am blessed and that I have a very loving Heavenly Father.  I KNOW that He "doth undertake to guide the future as he has the past."

As we drove home we listened to Be Still, My Soul.  My favorite verses are 1 and 2.  

1. 1. Be still, my soul: The Lord is on thy side;
   With patience bear thy cross of grief or pain.
   Leave to thy God to order and provide;
   In ev'ry change he faithful will remain.
   Be still, my soul: Thy best, thy heav'nly Friend
   Thru thorny ways leads to a joyful end.
2. 2. Be still, my soul: Thy God doth undertake
   To guide the future as he has the past.
   Thy hope, thy confidence let nothing shake;
   All now mysterious shall be bright at last.
   Be still, my soul: The waves and winds still know
   His voice who ruled them while he dwelt below.

My mom sent me a link to this song the day before our procedure.  Timely and yet another tender mercy.  Take a listen.

As we drove into our driveway Dallin noticed that his odometer had reached 127777.  That same day mine had reached 107777.  Coincidence?  Yeah, maybe.  Tender mercy?  Possibly.  Good luck? Most definitely!

Keep the prayers coming for our miracle baby to get here!  They are needed, felt and we are extremely grateful for all of the support we have!  We love you all!